Top 10 hard truths of living as an expat in Thailand

I posted the two articles below on Hua hin Expat News, but I thought my 2Bags followers might also find them interesting – and educational:

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Expat life is what you make it here in the Land of Smiles. Moaning about it never helps but accepting the bumps is part of the adventure. Here are Top 10 Hard Truths for expats in Thailand.

1. VISAS ARE A PAIN IN THE NECK

You have plenty of options but the options never quite fit into your line of work or expectations. But between the non-B visa, retirement visa, education visa, tourist visa, Elite visa and Smart visa, along with a few visa runs and trips to your local immigration office, you can usually manage a long-term stay in Thailand (yes, we know we used nicknames for some of the visas).

One way or the other you will need to keep your paperwork up to date, as the fines for over-stays and visa problems can be quite aggressive and difficult to negotiate your way around these days. There’s plenty of good information on the net about visas, but despite what you read, interpretation may be different on the day you visit the local office and depending who you end up speaking to.

At the end of the day, ask yourself how difficult is it for Thai citizens to live in your country.

2. YOU CALL IT CORRUPTION. THEY CALL IT BUSINESS.

You are a guest in a foreign country. Thailand has a long history of independence and hasn’t been tainted with a lot of western influence. Unlike Myanmar, Laos, Vietnam, Malaysia, Singapore, Indonesia. Philippines and India (just to list the countries around Thailand), there has never been western colonization of the Kingdom. And most Thais will be delighted to remind you of this proud fact.

The downside is that your perception of western efficiencies and customs are going to be challenged whenever you want to do just about anything. There will be times when you will be asked, or invited, to put your hand in your pocket to get something happening – it could be a building project, a visa, getting your accounting done or getting a signature on a contract. If you are running a business in Thailand, you’ll be invited more often than if you’re just living the single life here.

Be shocked, be angry, be determined to point out your issues with corruption – it’s not going to change a system that has been in place for generations and unlikely to change much during your time in the Kingdom.

Speaking of business…

3. THAIS LOVE PAPERWORK

Thais and Thai bureaucracy loves paperwork. You will be bewildered by the amount of paperwork generated for the most simple tasks. We’ve decided that there must be a huge building somewhere in Thailand that just holds mountains of paperwork that will never, ever be seen again.

Despite computers, modern banking and the concept of the ‘paperless office’, you will see paperwork generated at the expense of perfectly good trees in quantities you can’t even start to imagine. How about 32 A4 pages of paperwork for changing one brake disc in a 12-year old Honda Jazz? Watch in wonder as the photostat machines and bubble-jet printers churn out paper you probably can’t even read and get placed into files that will likely never be read by anyone else.

4. BUSINESS IS A CHALLENGE

Despite a US NGO voting Thailand as one of the best places to start a business in Asia (try and hold back your laughter), starting a business in Thailand can be: 1) challenging, 2) an adventure, 3) bewildering, 4) perhaps impossible. Or all four at once.

Free your mind of anything you’ve learned in the west about starting a business, jump onto Google and find a good local admin person or lawyer. Do it all yourself at your peril. Just because the Thai girlfriend can pour a beer or ‘knows someone’ is no guarantee that things will go smoothly.

Running a Thai business never ever goes the way you plan. Ever. Between your visas, business registration, Labour Office, Department of this and that, accountants and your Thai staff is a wall of red tape, twists, turns and WTFs that will test your resolve. The effort is usually all worth it, but you’ve been warned! Check everything thoroughly before you sign a document. And then do it again.

5. TWO-TIER PRICING

Go to a small local restaurant in any holiday area and there will likely be several versions of the menu – one for locals and one for tourists. Of course, the menu for the tourists has the same food listed at higher prices. Go to any national park in Thailand and the entry price can be as much as 1,000% higher for ‘farang’ and tourists.

It’s just a fact of life, much-debated, and you probably just need to accept it. If you do confront a two-tier pricing issue from time to time, get out your work permit or local drivers license and the higher price is usually waived. But not always.

6. BAR GIRLS DON’T LOVE YOU

The 20-something bar girl with the short skirt and fetching smile probably doesn’t love you. While many westerners seem to gravitate to Thailand to indulge in the local pleasures of the flesh, a long-term relationship and partner may take more time to cultivate than a round of expensive drinks and some small talk with a bar girl whose vocabulary will likely range between the cost of drinks and routine pleasantries, Ka. You’ll have better luck on Tinder or, heaven forbid, taking a lady out on a date and getting to know her.

7. BUT THAT’S NOT HOW I DID IT LAST TIME!

Immigration rules, negotiating with police, business rules, road rule enforcement. The way you tackle some of these day-to-day little ‘impediments’ should be treated as a single adventure and not to be referred to in the future as the “way things are done”.

While Thailand has well-described rules, regulation and laws relating to just about everything, they are often applied and enforced in a way that may appear unfair or inconsistent. The way police negotiate who was responsible at an accident, for example, will be different every time.

It used to be folk lore that if if there’s any issue to be sorted out between a Thai and a foreigner, the Thai will always come out ahead. From personal experience, I would say that’s no longer the case, but always be prepared to ‘wing it’ in any given situation.

If there are going to be police or the law involved best to get someone speaking Thai, the local Tourist Police or someone in the know to help you wade through potential problems.

8. DON’T LOSE YOUR COOL

Stamp your feet, raise your voice, point at the absurdity of the situation over and over. I can guarantee it will make absolutely no change to the final outcome. Losing your cool will simply not help any situation and will likely inflame it further, to your detriment.

Ask for the manager, describe your point-of-view in exquisite detail on a sheet of paper, get out the finger puppets or turn to Google Translate – go for it. But never lose your temper and try not to raise your voice because it’s just not the Thai way. 1) They will smile in silence at you while you point out that their website said something completely different; 2) They will go and discuss the matter with other staff and come back to you with precisely the same answer they gave you in the first place; 3) They will listen to your rant and think you are completely insane without actually saying so; 4) They will simply walk away while you are just getting warmed up; 5) They will get angry … you NEVER want that to happen, you’ll come off second best every time. Jai yen.

9. THE ROAD TOLL IN THAILAND IS APPALLING

Despite their generally affable nature, great food and endless smiles, Thais don’t do the driving thing well. And it’s dangerous. Depending on which list of stats you want to believe, Thailand is either the most dangerous or the second most dangerous country to drive in the world.

If you are in a car, your chances improve a lot. If you’re older or female, the odds improve further in your favor. If you are on a motorbike but wear a helmet you’ve also improved your chances of surviving Thailand’s roads.

Christmas/New Year and Songkran (Thai new year) are the times of the year when Thais wipe themselves off their roads in astonishing numbers and all the police checkpoints, government media releases and changes to laws do little to curb the carnage. The biggest contributor to this national disgrace is drunk driving, with speeding coming a close second. Despite almost draconian laws on alcohol advertising the message about drink driving simply isn’t sinking in. Attitudes and a commitment to enforcement is slowly changing but it’s a long-tough road ahead for the people of Thailand to tackle their shameful road toll.

10. QUEUES (or ‘lines’ if you’re American)

Queues and waiting in line are just a part of modern Thai life. Whether it’s waiting in the Immigration queue at the airport or your local office, at the local convenience store or at a public hospital, your wait is just a function of all the other systems that lead to inefficiencies and delays.

It might be well argued that it’s not only Thailand where queues have become a part of life but in Thailand many situations seem quite easy to fix, at least to the person waiting in line (who usually has plenty of time to contemplate solutions).

Immigration queues at airports are becoming longer even though the well-publicized delays have been acknowledged, more computers installed and more staff trained. You can be waiting for an hour to get through immigration at any Thai airport with only half the stations staffed and spare staff standing behind passport control drinking coffee and checking their Facebook. But it’s all managed with a smile once you get your moment in front of the funny pod camera for your photo.

So what can you do with many of these challenges? In most cases, keep smiling, take a deep breath and remember why you came to live in Thailand in the first place. Despite the thousand and one little annoyances and inconsistencies, it’s still a wonderful place to live.

A few days on Thai Visa would make you think that all expats ever do is whine and complain about life in the Land of Smiles. It’s a bad example of expat life and most of us find our way through these challenges with a bit of patience, grace, a good book or a smartphone with a full charge. We are, after all, guests in the Kingdom of Thailand and it’s up to us to find away around THEIR systems, as best we can.

There is an airport nearby, in most cases, with multiple flights out of the country if you’re truly aggrieved by any situation. Get some good locals around you, do some research before you embark on any new task and keep an eye on your rear-view mirror. – Tim Newton/Phukett Gazette


Travel blogger’s offensive post generalizing Thais sparks conversation

A blog post from 2014, called “7 Reasons Why We Won’t be Returning to Thailand,” has been recently updated and sparked a new round of comments and a discussion on Reddit’s Thailand forum over the last two days.

The scathing post called British blogger Jack Bolshaw’s three-week trip to Thailand “horrendously stressful and generally unpleasant.”

“A holiday we were immensely looking forward to was spoilt by, I regret to say so bluntly, the majority of the Thai people we came across,” who he called “openly passive-aggressive and deceitful.”

Aside from making sweeping generalizations — which his recent update clarified are only about those working in the travel industry — he called out getting overcharged, people hooking up on the beach, massage girls eagerly offering special services, Thai people that couldn’t give directions, and a bus that arrived at its destination 55 minutes longer than expected.

Some of these things are just the quirks of living in an often charming, sometimes exasperating, country and things we get used to if we’ve been here longer than the length of a vacation.

The beachside hookups Bolshaw saw were in Koh Phi Phi, one of the country’s largest tourist destinations and one that, as one comment mentioned, could have just as easily happened at any beach littered with tourists. The people he saw were likely not even Thai, since this sort of display of affection is not part of the culture.

In the section where he attempts to damn “special massage” parlors, he writes of trying to trick the women into propositioning him by having his girlfriend leave his side. “As I passed the place filled with brightly stained curtains they descended upon me. Alfred Hitchcock couldn’t have directed it better. Grabbing me, stroking me, running their hands through my hair whilst screeching ‘Me horn ee big boiii’, ‘I wan u big banana’, ‘Where u fom?’ I was a bit disappointed I didn’t hear the classic ‘me luv you long time.”

Since he knew the latter phrase, the writer had at least a passing knowledge of the sex and massage trade that Thailand is known for. If he doesn’t care for that sort of service or atmosphere, perhaps he shouldn’t walk down a street known for this and “decide to do an experiment with the ‘masseuses.”

As one Redditor posited, “Author definitely got a happy ending and concocted the entire article to establish plausible deniability.”

Bolshaw calls out two people working in a Khaosan tour-selling kiosk that could not direct him to Lebua State Tower, home of the skybar where The Hangover 2 was filmed. He said that the duo “refused to help us” and claimed they were not from Bangkok. Bolshaw took great offense at that.

In fact, the majority of Thais working semi-skilled jobs in Bangkok did not grow up in the city and may still live in the provinces, traveling long distances to work each day. Also, why is it so unthinkable that two people likely making the minimum wage of THB300 (US$10) per day can’t direct him to a building where he can get an THB800 (US$25) cocktail at a swanky skybar?

But the most offensive part of this piece is the section titled “Me No Ingrish” that documents how poor the level of English speaking is by the Thai people he encountered. While it might be true, Thailand is not a majority English-speaking country and, rather than be annoyed by what the Thais they came across could not say, it’s more worthwhile to be thankful for what they can say and how they can help, since tourists can’t speak the local language.

As one commentator said, “Found it very interesting how you expect the people to speak English. So how many foreign languages do you know and when you see foreign tourists in your homeland, do you speak to them in their native language?”

Other comments included:

“His sense of entitlement that everyone should speak English is top-tier Western entitlement crap. As others note, I hope they never come back.”

“If you can’t get some enjoyment out of figuring things out when a language barrier exists, then maybe you should just stay home.”

“If you run into assholes once in a while that’s normal. If you run into them everywhere you go, you’re probably an asshole.”

Bolshaw opened a discussion that had many people wondering why people that expect foreign countries to be just like their home country travel — much less publish their experiences as a travel writer. – coconuts.co

Posted in Local Culture, Thailand, Uncategorized, visa/passport

Video Reveals Horrific Abuse Inflicted on Blind Trekking Elephant

VIDEO

Elephants are losing a vicious battle against the greed of humankind. Despite being herbivores who do not pose a dangerous threat to humans, they are often the target of horrific abuse, torture, and murder.

Most people are aware that poaching is killing off elephants and leaving behind orphans, but not many people realize that the tourism industry is another major contributor to the demise of these gentle giants.

Similar to circuses, the elephant tourism industry (elephant trekking, elephant baths, etc.) uses and abuses elephants and forces them to perform unnatural behaviors. In order to make the animals submit, they are often kidnapped when they are young, locked up in restraints and heavy chains, while handlers torture them with whips and bullhooks in order to make them fear people and submit to orders.

In the above video, we see what goes on behind the bright signs that promote elephant trekking and baths. Undercover footage shared by Wildlife Friends Foundation Thailand reveals a female elephant at a tourist attraction in south Thailand who is blind in one eye and has limited vision in the other … but is still being forced to carry massive loads of tourists on her back each and every day. When she does not obey orders during the work day, she is brutally whipped and beaten in the face, trunk, head, and feet for hours while she is chained up and cannot escape.

Many tourists, in search for the perfect selfie on the back of an elephant to garner likes on social media, fail to think about what life is like for the elephants. As if the horrific abuse is not enough to deter people, the elephant tourism industry often results in accidents that seriously injure and kill humans as well as elephants. – onegreenplanet.org

Posted in elephants, Thailand, Uncategorized | Tagged , ,

A Christmas Story – Part 2

DSC_1614I was wrong. There were not nine Thais coming over for Christmas dinner and gift-giving. There were 10.

And just enough food.

Why did i have 10 Thais over for dinner? Pretty selfish, really. I just wanted a better Christmas experience than I usually have overseas. And the best way to do that was to involve others, especially children, and give out gifts to people I hardly know.

Kind of a personal followup to the orphanage visit on Saturday.

My intent was to have gifts for the children of Non’s best friend (and I don’t know her name) – three girls and one boy. I also had to have something for their mother, as well as for their grandmother. And, of course, there were gifts for Non.

But first, dinner.

On the road back from the orphanage, we stopped so that I could purchase a whole chicken hanging over a charcoal spit on the roadside (150 baht/$5 for the whole bird). It was a pretty dusty day and I’m sure some of the grit attached to the chicken skin, but I was told the chicken was excellent. I decided to save it for Christmas.

Christmas morning it was time to go to the fresh market (Chat Chia) for regular groceries. But I also purchased half a roasted duck at my favorite duck and fried pork vendor (300 baht/$10). He wished me a Merry Christmas.

I made the dish you see here – tin foil on bottom, lined with boiled mustard greens, with sliced tomatoes and cucumber, and the two birds side by side. Lots of sauces, too. Looked pretty good, and actually kind of festive. It was pretty much decimated by the hungry guests, except for the tomatoes, which is somewhat puzzling.

My guests brought some longan and what looked like candied baby carrots. Longan, or “dragon eyes”, is so named because of the fruit’s resemblance to an eyeball when it is shelled. The seed is small, round and hard and closely allied to the lychee.

A couple of bottles of soda, a beer for the kids’ father, and we had a meal. I mostly just watched and listened, not understanding anything that was being said but enjoying that they were enjoying.

DSC_1586

Tungmu, right, and her big sister

I was really guessing when I bought all the gifts. Guessing on sizes or on appropriateness. Thais would not say otherwise, but my sense is everyone was pleased with their gifts.

The two youngest girls received multiple gifts – teddy bears, fancy hair clips, play dough, and a small carry bag. I bought several of the bags and they went over very well. They were only $5 each, not much for me but half a day’s pay for their mother. She received a tin of chocolate.

DSC_1605The older girl received two light and colorful blouses; the paternal grandma got one of the bags. Non’s son Mek received a shirt I wish they had in my size. There are also gifts for Non’s daughter and sister and her husband that they will get when they visit next month.

For Non, some legwork was necessary trying to find the gift I wanted to buy. I thought she might like a new motorcycle helmet but I just could not find one. I walked a mile to one store, only to find it closed in the middle of the afternoon. I decided on the alternative, and that experience was a bit strange.

DSC_1611I previously had found a beautifully designed silver ring that I thought would be a good replacement to the ring she found that turned out to be fake. To add to that, I went to a jeweler a short distance from my house with a huge building on the main road, Petchkasem. I pass by there often and always wanted to go inside, so I did. I was greeted warmly – I was the only customer there, days before Christmas, and no one came in while I was there looking at silver necklaces and pendants. They have tons of inventory but I gather not much business.

They were offering 52% off all merchandise. I selected a nice silver chain and a pendant encased with rubies (her birth stone) and diamond fakes.

Since none of my guests were familiar with this whole process, I started having the youngest, Tungmu, deliver the presents to each person. Then I asked each one to open theirs. Non was last.

Oh, the 10-year-old boy couldn’t believe he got a soccer ball. Later, the kids and the biggest ‘kid’ (me) went out in the street to play.

My guests, as all good Thais would do, cleaned everything up for me. Me? I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face until going to sleep.

Dinner time:

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The gift-giving:

Non’s Christmas:

Just because:

I hope all my friends, family and followers had a GREAT Christmas! Mine was pretty good.

Posted in Uncategorized